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Why doesn't this sound like the old bad battery cable or bad chassis ground issues we've seen here before? What year and model of Cruze?
 
I think it's a 2011-2012 cruze sedan.
The sticker on the driver's door jamb will tell you the model year and build date of the car. How many miles on odo?
 
The problem is, there's not enough fuel to go to the dealer to have it serviced and the fuel filler door cannot be opened without the power locks. which i think is dumb enough to be done on a car. LOL
Wow, what an engineering Catch 22!

Out of curiosity, have you tried flexing the primary battery cables as far as you can reach from the battery? There have been several instances of these being bad here and there may be a chance that yours are sourced from the same supplier. It's a long shot, but won't cost you anything to try.
 
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